Jumake11

zhe-lazy-fox: neko-ereri: cool-bacon-dude: robotlyra: Me...

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 18:50:50 +0100

neko-ereri:

cool-bacon-dude:

robotlyra:

Me bailing out of work the exact second my shift is over

When you get spotted in prop hunt

As soon as I read that last one I just had flashbacks to Mark as a trash can and scaring the shit out of Wade

*wheeze*

kaylapocalypse: anyway now that i am an author and i have achieved my life goal like 40 years...

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 18:35:20 +0100

kaylapocalypse:

anyway now that i am an author and i have achieved my life goal like 40 years early i gotta make new goals. So i’ve been working on this list for the past couple days and here it is.

1. become for however temporary a time, a Russian businessman’s mistress

2. Ignore a celebrity on purpose while they are actively trying to get my attention

3. Full Body Lazer Hair Removal for an eternity of having dolphin legs

4. become an archeress and carry a bow in my car so i can whip it out for tricks.

5. violin lessons

6. All my clothes made by a tailor.

7. Put my whole hand in a chocolate fountain.

8. fly first class at least once so I can see What the Hell is Going On Up There

9. Go to one of those mysterious european raves that occur in barns or fields with little notice. Whose invitations are spread by word of mouth, but have 10,000 attendants and are property damage level of turnt

10. gently touch sufjan steven’s cheek and ask him in the softest of voices if he is a changeling.

Photo

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 18:19:55 +0100

Video

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 18:04:26 +0100

scanalan: prettydoddleoddle: I want emo versions of idioms Like, instead of ““you’re barking up...

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 17:48:55 +0100

scanalan:

prettydoddleoddle:

I want emo versions of idioms

Like, instead of ““you’re barking up the wrong tree” it’s “you’re panicking at the wrong disco”

You can lead a horse to Evanescence but you can’t bring him to life

mylifeissogay: shubbabang: Patreon | Webtoon I am crying,...

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 17:33:30 +0100

mylifeissogay:

shubbabang:

Patreon | Webtoon

I am crying, her fucking face killed me.

the-tide-is-out: OH MY &UCKING GOD!

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 17:17:43 +0100

the-tide-is-out:

OH MY &UCKING GOD!

thranduilland: whateverhumans: siesiegirl: professorsparklepants: tuesdayisfordancing: ozymandias...

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 17:02:30 +0100

thranduilland:

whateverhumans:

siesiegirl:

professorsparklepants:

tuesdayisfordancing:

ozymandias271:

“our teeth and ambitions are bared” is a zeugma

and it’s a zeugma where one of the words is literal and one is metaphorical which is the BEST KIND

I didn’t know about zeugmas until just now! That is so awesome, everybody:

zeug·ma ˈzo͞oɡmə/

noun
a figure of speech in which a word applies to two others in different senses (e.g.,John and his license expired last week ) or to two others of which it semantically suits only one (e.g., with weeping eyes and hearts ).

ISN’T THAT AWESOME??

#in english class in high school my teacher had us write our own zeugmas in class #and one guy came up with ‘he fell from her favor… and the window’#i am forever looking for opportunities to use that one

She dropped her dress and inhibitions at the door.

What’s this? My favorite rhetorical device showing up on my dashboard?

IT HAS A NAMEEEE!! OH MY GOD!!!

dumbassity: piledriver13: NO! What the fuck

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 16:46:59 +0100

dumbassity:

piledriver13:

NO!

What the fuck

7 Easy Stir Fry Sauce Recipes

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 16:31:27 +0100

guardians-of-the-food:

7 Easy Stir Fry Sauce Recipes

SEVEN easy stir fry sauce recipes you can make ahead and freeze. These stir fry sauces are unique, made with simple pantry ingredients, and are ready in just five minutes!

Click HERE for the full recipe!

Photo

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 16:15:56 +0100

Photo

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 23:44:53 +0100

bambis-baby: mrpawnshopghost: erebusodora: ruthannereid: aria...

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 23:29:22 +0100

bambis-baby:

mrpawnshopghost:

erebusodora:

ruthannereid:

ariaste:

adultwednesdayadams:

Something Rotten!

omg a musical song about COMPLAINING ABOUT WRITING

My whole life I have been waiting for this. MY WHOLE LIFE.

OH MY WORD

YES.

@tinydadman

I REBLOG THIS EVERY SINGLE TIME IT COMES ON MY DASH AN I HAVE LOVED IT EVERY TIME

catstextposts: Awww

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 23:14:08 +0100

catstextposts:

Awww

ana-logical: kitkat30: this bread tiny yeast it made me laugh in an unholy fashion at four in the...

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 22:58:45 +0100

ana-logical:

kitkat30:

this bread tiny

yeast

it made me laugh in an unholy fashion at four in the goddamn morning, so here, have this.

glumshoe: You wake in the night with your arm hanging over the side of your bed. It is still dark,...

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 22:43:06 +0100

glumshoe:

You wake in the night with your arm hanging over the side of your bed. It is still dark, and your bedroom is shrouded in deep shadow. Something unseen seizes your hand.

You grasp it tightly, knowing that first impressions are important and a firm, confident handshake will establish dominance.

Photo

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 22:27:33 +0100

Seeing what tricks my new pet knows during my first session

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 22:12:06 +0100

outofcontextdnd:

Me: Roll over.

GM: The hedgehog rolls over. It’s adorable.

Me: Stay.

GM: You take a few steps away. The hedgehog remains where it is.

Me: Heel.

GM: The hedgehog heals you for 5 HP.

Me: Holy shit.

disasterbisexual: alterego9114: excalibelle: deadjosey: Magic...

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 21:56:32 +0100

disasterbisexual:

alterego9114:

excalibelle:

deadjosey:

Magic level 99999

Subscribe to PaulVuTV

OMG the stoned rubiks cube guy tho it meeeeee

I have seen almost every episode of “Magic’s secrets revealed”, and I cannot fathom how he did that stuff.

@funbucketburt

dog-rates:This dog unlocked the door for his human. 13/10 the...

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 21:41:15 +0100

dog-rates:

This dog unlocked the door for his human. 13/10 the best boy