anyway now that i am an author and i have achieved my life goal like 40 years early i gotta make new goals. So i’ve been working on this list for the past couple days and here it is.
1. become for however temporary a time, a Russian businessman’s mistress
2. Ignore a celebrity on purpose while they are actively trying to get my attention
3. Full Body Lazer Hair Removal for an eternity of having dolphin legs
4. become an archeress and carry a bow in my car so i can whip it out for tricks.
5. violin lessons
6. All my clothes made by a tailor.
7. Put my whole hand in a chocolate fountain.
8. fly first class at least once so I can see What the Hell is Going On Up There
9. Go to one of those mysterious european raves that occur in barns or fields with little notice. Whose invitations are spread by word of mouth, but have 10,000 attendants and are property damage level of turnt
10. gently touch sufjan steven’s cheek and ask him in the softest of voices if he is a changeling.
and it’s a zeugma where one of the words is literal and one is metaphorical which is the BEST KIND
I didn’t know about zeugmas until just now! That is so awesome, everybody:
zeug·ma
ˈzo͞oɡmə/
noun
a figure of speech in which a word applies to two others in different senses (e.g.,John and his license expired last week ) or to two others of which it semantically suits only one (e.g., with weeping eyes and hearts ).
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